Abundance

The holidays are tricky for those who grieve. The sense of loss refreshes in our minds. During a time when the focus is on time spent with family, you can't help but realize family photos will feel incomplete and not every stocking needs to be filled. But as we step closer to Thanksgiving, I'm working hard to remember that which I am thankful for. There's quite a bit, really. Tim and I are truly blessed people.

Family. Home. Church. Marriage. Friends. Income. Freedom. Faith. And above all, we are saved by grace.

Today, I'm remembering to say, "Thank you" to the Giver. He gives abundantly.

"Thank you" doesn't feel like enough

Today my heart is full. I’m missing my baby, just like every day…the wounds still raw and open. But, my heart has been filled with the kindness of a group who shaped part of who I am today.  I’m floored by it -- the generosity and thoughtfulness of those who have blessed my life in countless ways in recent years, but particularly this year.

The school community in which I spent the past three years wants to create a memorial for Ellis. Parents and teachers have joined together to make this possible and every time I let the thought sink in, tears come again. It’s so simple, really. They want to plant a tree. And yet, the idea of that tree perpetually growing, casting beauty, and reflecting the glory of its Creator, all in memory of Ellis, warms my soul. The idea is to plant it somewhere on the property of our church…a place that with the change of jobs this year, I now go every day. A place that is just down the road from our house. We run, ride bikes, and drive by this place so often.

Thank you, Westgate. You surrounded me during the hard days of waiting, supported me after he was gone, and now remember him in the days that linger. It means more than you know.

With love,
Rebecca

Happy Anniversary

Just over a week ago we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Simply put, it was good. We felt like we celebrated that day. We remembered the moments between saying, “I do” and celebrating five years of marriage and there were so many wonderful things to remember. Heading into marriage we knew there would be trials ahead. That was a given, but we didn’t worry about it on that day. With blissful ignorance of what events might change the way we think, live, and love, we chose to assume that we’d be happy and able to face those trials as long as we were able to do it together. Now that we’ve weathered the storm, I can say with confidence that although we didn’t know what was to come when we celebrated with friends and family on July 8, 2006, we were right.

The community that surrounded us then, surrounds us now. The better part is that a host of others we didn't know then are a part of our journey now. We're so very thankful.

Thank You

Today we will gather to celebrate Ellis's life. We miss him so deeply, but are glad to be able to share his life with others today. To those who are going to be able to make it to the service this afternoon, thank you. To those of you who can't come, we are blessed by your love from afar. Thank you.

Thank you for loving Ellis with us. If anything, we know this little guy has been loved and that means so much to us.

June 14 - Update

Today's fluid check revealed a decrease in amniotic fluid, but the doctor did not seem too concerned. He seems to think that our fluid levels are just going to fluctuate like this. So, we're praying that he's right and the fluid levels go back up again soon. Otherwise, he indicated that everything else is looking about the same. So, another "status quo" appointment. We're always a bit relieved when there isn't any bad news delivered at an appointment, but we, of course, would love to receive really good news at an appointment. Such is the nature of this experience.

Thank you for all your prayers today. We're feeling very at peace today and know that so many of you have prayed that would be true. We're blessed by the love and support each of you provide.

Each new day with Ellis is another one of thanksgiving for us. We hope God will grant us many more. We'd love to share our little gift with each of you.

With love, Tim and Rebecca